as of today i'm worth $1 million, sort of. that is to say, i upgraded my life insurance policy to that amount, so my wife gets $1 million when i vacate this world. that's assuming i die before her, which is bound to happen since women tend to outlive men when it boils down to natural causes. the one thing us men have going is that we age more gracefully than women, so at least when we reach the point where one foot is in the grave, we can still look good.
my sense of humor is often pitch black. i laugh at scenes in horror films that are meant to terrify and induce nightmares. when people die in action films, i laugh my ass off as i rewind the scene to watch it again. not lost on me is the fact that this is rather fucked up. at the same time, it is what it is and does not tend to manifest itself in macabre ways, so whatever.
today as we finalized the terms on our new life insurance policies with our financial planner in my conference room, i tried out a concept i recently developed about how to cash in. the essence of it, as i described, is if times get really tough and the family needs a windfall, my wife and i flip a coin or play rock/paper/scissors (2 out of 3, of course) to decide who goes out to run errands, loses control of the vehicle, and plunges off a bridge into the potomac river. needless to say, the scenario didn't elicit a chuckle or a smile. tough audience today.
in other news, i did a good job of drinking my coffee this morning. i also did a good job of taking a shower. oh, and let's not forget the good job i did at feeding the dog, putting on shoes, and retrieving the paper from the front yard. the jackal has developed a tendency of endorsing and encouraging the very basic things i do lately, parroting the words of encouragement i dispense for him on a daily basis in reaction to his following directions. essentially, no one can do wrong in the house these days, which feels kind of good. i could probably throw a brick through the neighbor's window then tell him to fuck his mother, and the jackal would say, "good job, dad!"
all of the above is true, but this post is really just an excuse to mention that my wife has finally crossed the threshold and launched a blog.